


what's my age again?

by verity



Series: mixtape [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Young Avengers
Genre: American Sign Language, Dad Music, Deaf Character, Deaf Clint Barton, Dogs, F/F, Friendship, Gen, Interns & Internships, Murder BFFs, Part-Time Avenging, hawkeye squared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-13 00:44:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2130648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verity/pseuds/verity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>A for effort, H-A-W-K-E-Y-E,</i> Kate says as soon as she frees herself from her harness. They really need to come up with a real sign instead of just fingerspelling all the time. Maybe miming drawing a bow, then pointing to the eyes. Something cool. <i>You have to get over your boner for that boomerang arrow.</i></p><p>"Did you just sign 'angry penis'?" Sam says, distracted from his unresolved sexual tension with Natasha.</p><p>"Whatever," Kate says. She flips her hair. "I'm learning."</p>
            </blockquote>





	what's my age again?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [darthjamtart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthjamtart/gifts).



> thanks to jamtart, Meg, Pear, Ashe, and magneticwave for aiding and abetting. Special thanks to magneticwave for all her help with ASL - any remaining errors are my own.

The floorboards are thudding with the vibration when Kate steps into Clint's hallway. Okay, the floors are vinyl tile, who knows if there are boards under there, Kate doesn't have a degree in _construction_ , but—poetic license. "If the building's rocking, don't come knocking?" she says dubiously as she turns the doorknob.

As soon as she opens the door, booming vocals spill into the hallway like they're surfing the crest of a pop-punk tsunami. " _AND THAT'S ABOUT THE TIME SHE WALKED AWAY FROM ME, NOBODY LIKES YOU WHEN YOU'RE 23—_ "

Clint Barton is standing in the middle of the living room in his boxers and a t-shirt, half-heartedly moshing while he feeds Lucky a slice of pizza. It's 11AM, so that's gotta be cold. Kate sighs and shuts the door behind her. It takes a minute for Clint to notice she's there, which is exactly how Clint gets his ass 95% killed all of the time. "Hey," he mouthes under the thudding bass, then does a head-tilt, finger-flick: _What's up?_

 _You are embarrassing me,_ Kate signs back. _What is this, your old man music?_

Clint rolls his eyes. _You want me to put on H-A-N-N-A-H Montana?_ He does the two-M mountain sign for the state instead of abbreviating to MT. Good thing Kate's been working on her geography vocabulary.

 _I don't know you_ , Kate says.

Lucky barks. Clint surrenders another slice of cold pizza.

 _B-W wants to party at noon_ , Kate says. _You got pants for that?_

—

With the latest in assistive tech, Clint can hear enough to Avenge, but he's not a fan of the hearing aids Stark built for him. Most of the time he leaves them off and relies on ASL or lipreading; if he listens to music, it's loud enough that he feels the throb of the bass enough to stomp and sign along to. At this rate, Kate is going to lose her own hearing by the time she's Clint's age. If she's alive. Superheroing is not the world's safest profession.

Right now, for example—this looks bad, objectively. Subjectively. One of those. Kate is dangling off a skyscraper, harness around her waist, an arrow notched in her bow. If anyone cuts her rig? She's dead. And she's going to have to practically bend over backwards if she doesn't want to snap her boob off with the string when she fires. Kate isn't trained for this shit.

Okay, technically, Kate wasn't really trained at all. She leans back, squints up at the supervillain flying overhead, and takes aim.

"Holy fucking shit, girl," Sam says as he swoops down from the sky a minute later, coming in to steady her and putting her hands on her hips. He's always super gentlemanly, which would be cuter if Kate had gotten laid since she left the west coast. Getting felt up in the name of pararescue is like putting her keys in the ignition and just turning on the lights until the battery runs out. "Don't unclip, I'm gonna bring you up to the attachment point."

"You like the new arrows, huh?" Kate says. "They explode."

Sam says, "I noticed."

Natasha is waiting for them at the top of the building with Clint at her side. It's always weird seeing them together—Kate and Clint are Hawkeye & Hawkeye, your local semi-competent, saving-the-day team, but Natasha and Clint are like Mr. and Mrs. Smith except they don't bone. As soon as Kate is safely on land, or roof, or whatever, the illusion vanishes. Sam and Natasha start up with their eyefucking thing while Clint scratches the back of his neck and looks uncomfortable. "Good work, Hawkeye," he says to Kate.

 _A for effort, H-A-W-K-E-Y-E,_ Kate says as soon as she frees herself from her harness. They really need to come up with a real sign instead of just fingerspelling all the time. Maybe miming drawing a bow, then pointing to the eyes. Something cool. _You have to get over your boner for that boomerang arrow._

"Did you just sign 'angry penis'?" Sam says, distracted from his unresolved sexual tension with Natasha.

"Whatever," Kate says. She flips her hair. "I'm learning."

Clint says, _A for effort, smartass._

—

The Avengers are funding Clint's arrow supply now, which sounds really cool except for the part where Clint is basically a Katniss dragon with a golden arrow hoard that he complains about Kate looting all the time. She only loots for _emergencies_ , okay. Really serious emergencies. And practice and stuff.

Also, he makes Kate come over and window shop with him on the internet while he blasts his terrible dad music at top volume. Kate wises up and buys earplugs after the first time, but it's still fucking annoying. Hours of Clint pointing and going, _This one?_ like he's never had access to Daddy's black AmEx. Well. He hasn't, probably. Clint's not the greatest with money.

Neither is Kate, but, hey! Now she's got a job.

"Think of it as an internship," Natasha says. They're in an office in Avengers Tower, a real office, with a real desk and everything. Kate put on a skirt suit and did her makeup and everything, like it's a real job interview. "A paid internship."

"What am I doing? Photocopying? I can't do Excel," Kate says. It's better to admit these kind of things up front. "I'm okay with Word and Powerpoint."

"Not that kind of internship," Natasha says.

It turns out all of the Young Avengers except America are interning, which means they get more weapons, training time with Natasha and Captain America—"Steve," he says, but all Kate hears is, "Hop on my all-American ride."—and odd jobs you wouldn't trust to just anyone.

"Let's be clear," Natasha says when she gives Kate the assignment. "I'm trusting you with his address. If you think you need to do anything as strenuous as actually speaking to him, you call me. Or Tony."

"Whoa, I get Tony's number?" Kate says.

Natasha says, "Do not, under any circumstances, contact Steve."

—

 _ **I** don't have T-O-N-Y's number,_ Clint says. _What the fuck are you doing?_

" _Confidential_." Kate singsongs the word as she signs.

Clint gives her a look.

 _B-W is making me babysit the Winter Soldier,_ Kate says.

 _Winter Soldier?_ Clint signs back, a puzzled look on his face. Okay, so Kate said _Angry Snow Man_ , same difference.

The shipping crate they're locked in doesn't have the greatest light, and supposedly you only get 40% of stuff with lipreading anyway, but Kate says, "Winter Soldier."

Clint rolls his eyes. _That asshole._ Then he pulls an arrow out of his quiver. "Hey," he says, hands full, "What do you think about us busting our way out of here in style?"

"Oh my god, it is so infuriating that I can't argue with you unless you're looking at me," Kate says just as he launches the grenade arrow through the door at the other end.

—

Kate gets babysitting duty once a week. It is pretty much the most chill job Kate has ever had, because that time she was housesitting her trailer kind of got blown up and she has had zero prior or subsequent jobs. The Winter Soldier goes to doctor's appointments and Starbucks and Trader Joe's in Union Square and usually the Whole Foods, too, where he just gets Maine Root Ginger Brew. Maine Root is kinda middle-of-the-road fancy ginger ale, but whatever. Kate buys overpriced raw coconut water and drinks it on the train while the Winter Soldier plays with his tablet and grumbles whenever they lose reception. It's kinda cute.

Natasha plays chess in the park with the Winter Soldier regularly. They get all serious and make former-Soviet-assassin faces at each other, and then the loser buys banh mi. Natasha calls him "Bucky." By the end of her first two months, Kate's pretty sure Natasha only refers to him the Winter Soldier to remind Kate he's super scary.

Kate is definitely not that scary. While Kate has lived through serious tragedy, like her dad getting remarried and her credit card getting canceled and her car getting blown up, she has not been brainwashed and turned into a metal-armed killing machine like Arnold Schwarzenegger in that one movie, or movie franchise, whatever. If the Winter Soldier goes evil, she will definitely be dialing 1-800-BLACK-WIDOW-WILL-FUCK-YOU-UP. At the same time, though, she watches the dude do his shopping and thinks: this guy totally needs a dog.

—

If Kate is being technical about it, all Natasha said was, "Speak." No speaking. No… sound words. Right.

"So, you want to learn more conversational ASL," Sam says when they meet up at the Hale & Hearty by Avengers Tower to practice. "I see why you came to me."

"Clint told me that _asshole_ was the sign for _hi_ and I believed him for like two whole weeks," Kate says. That was even more embarrassing than Clint's music taste, though less embarrassing than Clint's entire existence.

Sam says, _What a rude penis_.

 _We are brothers now,_ says Kate.

Of all the hearing Avengers, Sam and Natasha are best at ASL—Sam from his years working with vets with hearing impairments, Natasha because Natasha knows everything because she's terrifying. If Kate wanted to improve her vocabulary for body disposal, she'd go to Natasha, but so far pointing and shrugging has gotten Kate off that duty. Kate is a delicate flower with expressive eyebrows.

 _Hi,_ Sam says. _My name is S-A-M W-I-L-S-O-N or F-A-L-C-O-N. Nice to meet you._

 _I'm sorry, did you say Angry Bird?_ Kate says.

Sam laughs so hard he almost puts his face in his soup.

—

Kate brings Lucky to the little park by the Winter Soldier's apartment on one of her days off. They haven't spent that much time together since Kate got a real job, and Lucky is totally pissed. He's placated by half of Kate's banh mi, though. "It's good to know you still love me," Kate says as Lucky licks her fingers. "Or bribery, whatever."

Lucky looks at Kate like, _Love you more if I get the rest of your sandwich, babe_. Too bad Kate is immune to these literal puppy eyes. They did their time on the road together, now they're equals, which means Kate gets her sandwich and Lucky can go to Clint's whipped ass if he wants an entire people meal.

When she looks up, the Winter Soldier is ambling through the park with his hands in his pockets, like he's got nobody to murder and no place to be. He looks like a normal person when his robot hand isn't visible, which is too bad, because Kate doesn't really go for normal in her friends. _Hi,_ she signs. _Want to pet my dog?_

The Winter Soldier totally clues in that she's talking to him, because super badass hypervigilant ex-assassin, he's aware of his surroundings. He gives her a confused look.

 _Probably you don't know W-T-F I'm saying,_ Kate says. _I'm just a crazy person talking to you in the park with a cute dog. Don't you like dogs?_

Lucky wags his tail like he's going for Most Adorable and Pettable Doggy Boo of the year.

 _My dog wants to be your B-F-F_. Kate does her best at an innocent smile. _P-L-Z don't M-U-R-D-E-R me._ She spells it out because the sign for murder is kind of—yeah.

The Winter Soldier looks at them for a long moment and then strides past them toward the street.

Kate sighs. Lucky whines. Then he darts in for a bite of her unsupervised banh mi.

—

Now that she's working for her money and not, you know, living high on Dad's largesse, Kate lives in Brooklyn. Her room is definitely not legally a room, because no window, and possibly a closet. There's just enough room for a twin bed, a dresser turned sideways so she can't open the bottom drawer because of the bed, and a long rod to hang clothes on that she has to duck under to get through the door. It is not the optimal location for booty calls, but Miss America Chavez has yet to meet an obstacle she cannot surpass.

America is not working for the Avengers because, no, they still can't pay her enough. "They couldn't pay me in unicorns," she says. "They couldn't pay me in Mars."

"You have such a weird idea of Earth currency," says Kate. Her underwear are shredded and her bra is somewhere—oh, on top of her jewelry box. "Thanks for letting me hop on your all-American ride."

"My ride is Utopian, chica," America says, totally straight-faced.

Kate puts her head on America's shoulder and nuzzles America's neck. "Even better."

They cuddle for a while, which is awesome and one of the many reasons that America is Kate's #1 hookup buddy. Just when Kate is starting to think America's asleep, America shifts on her side so she can look Kate in the eye. "So, how's the job?"

"I'm bad at rules," Kate says. "Also, they're, like, professionals and shit, I don't know why that includes Clint."

"There's only one Hawkeye for me," America says, snuggling closer. "In any dimension."

"I would do every America." Kate trails her hand up America's side. "A broad survey. Pretty sure you'd still be my favorite."

America rolls her hips against Kate's. "I'm touched."

"Literally," says Kate.

—

The next time she and the Winter Soldier encounter each other in the park, Kate is better prepared, which is to say that she got Lucky his own banh mi. Lucky is possibly going to pass out from food coma on top of Kate's feet and make her toes go numb, but that's fine. He's extra cuddly while unconscious, not that Kate has ever disrespected his doggy boundaries or anything.

Kate crams the rest of her banh mi in her mouth and hastily scrubs her hands clean on her napkin when the Winter Soldier appears. _Hello again,_ she says. _I love D-O-G-S. Don't you?_

The Winter Soldier stares at her for a long moment before he slowly signs, _C-A-T-S_

Oh no. Kate did not think this through, she wasn't planning for this to actually work. She closes her mouth and points to Lucky. _C-U-T-E-R_.

Lucky flops on his back appealingly, exposing his pale, fluffy belly.

The Winter Soldier raises his eyebrows and… strategically retreats.

—

" _HEY, HEY, DON'T PAY NO MIND, IF YOU'RE UNDER 18 YOU WON'T BE DOING ANY TIME_ —" Clint sings along with the booming music, shaking his butt at the refrigerator. He's doing the dishes or something.

"What the shit is this," says Kate, forgetting. She moves into Clint's line of sight and repeats herself in sign.

"Don't disrespect your elders," Clint says as he rinses a plate. He does not stop with the booty-shaking because Hawkeyes have no shame. "It's like you were raised in a barn."

 _Y-O-U were actually raised in an actual B-A-R-N_ , Kate says. _I went to H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E A-C-A-D-E-M-Y._

 _B-A-R-N, barn_ , Clint says. The sign for barn is a swipe across the face, left to right, and then the top and walls of the barn outline with both hands; Clint's are sudsy and dripping. He gets some water on his nose. _You got that?_

 _Barn,_ Kate says, rolling her eyes. _That you were raised in. Yes._

Clint shrugs. "Want to go bust up some small-time crime when I get done?"

 _H-E-L-L yes_ , Kate says.

—

The next time Kate goes out to the bodega on a middle-of-the-night stale Cracker Jack run, she winds up in the alley behind her apartment building with a gun to her head, no backup to be found or weapon in hand. She closes her eyes. "I'm sorry for whatever I did," she says. "If Clint did it, I'm not sorry, and you can't make me fix it."

"I think Clint would be hurt to hear you talking about him like that behind his back," Natasha says.

Kate groans and relaxes into Natasha's hold. "Is this supposed to be training? That was such a dick move."

"You're supposed to fight, not surrender to an enemy combatant," Natasha scolds her. There's a sound like a safety clicking on. Or off. Hopefully on. "Who else is paying you?"

"Uh, nobody," Kate says. "You think I wouldn't be living in Manhattan instead of _Bushwick_? With _roommates_?" Lindsey never does her dishes and Jason is always trimming his beard in the sink, which is incredibly gross. Also, Kate now knows every Iron  & Wine song by heart.

Natasha sighs. "I told you not to talk to the Winter Soldier."

"I'm not very good at following directions," Kate says. "Tony's accountant made me redo my W-2 paperwork like three times."

"You asked him to be your murder BFF," Natasha says flatly.

"No way," Kate says, wriggling out of Natasha's hold. "He knows what a BFF is? Isn't he like a hundred years old?"

"He said _B-F-F_ ," Natasha says, signing.

Kate's shoulders slump. "I just thought he could be friends with Lucky. You know, man's best friend? The guy looks like he needs somebody to sit next to while he drinks his ginger ale on a park bench so they can look like an Allstate commercial."

Natasha raises her eyebrows.

"The old people commercials," Kate clarifies. "Life insurance or something. Not the ones with Mayhem keying your car. Can we have this conversation somewhere other than Death Alley?"

—

The next day dawns clear and sunny. A perfect day for the park. Kate packs a frisbee, sunscreen, and a collapsible bow in her straw tote, just in case.

When the Winter Soldier shows up, she's laying out on a towel with the last four issues of _People_ for company. He stands over her, face serious, and his ungloved metal hand glints in the sunlight, exactly like that picture of half-robot Arnold Schwarzenegger on a Buzzfeed quiz Kate took last week.

Kate says, "I had to sign a NDA so you can be friends with my dog."

Lucky gives her this doggy side-eye, like, _You don't own me_ , but Lucky got three pieces of pizza and ice cream for breakfast so he needs to calm down and also stop trying to drink Kate's iced tea.

"Natasha told me that you stole him from the other Hawkeye," the Winter Soldier says.

" _Borrowed_ ," Kate says. "I usually give Lucky back at night so Clint can deal with the 2AM walkies."

"How generous of you," the Winter Soldier says. He rummages in his pocket, then crouches down at Kate's side, holding out his human palm for Lucky to sniff. Lucky duly sniffs, then licks the Winter Soldier's fingers. The Winter Soldier makes a face, then reaches into the back pocket of his jeans and comes up with… treats. "Hello."

This is the cutest shit Kate's seen since that video where the hedgehog floats around in a sink like a little boat. She lets out a contented sigh and turns her attention back to Miley's new fiancé. There's a photo of them on the Riviera, and wow, this kid is cut like Noh-Varr.

—

So, uh, this looks bad. Real bad. But Clint's here, and Sam's here, and they've got it under control. Totally.

"I thought I got out of this by not having kids," Clint says. He does the yawn-y jaw move that means his hearing aids are sitting in his ears weird and now he's extra pissed. "What the fuck are you thinking?"

"Uh, a little help here," Kate says. "I am trapped under a Satanic toy avalanche." One of the baby dolls turns its head toward her and coos, patting at Kate's cheek. It has glowing eyes and teeth. This is how she's going to die, eaten alive by cannibalistic plastic without ever having gotten to bang Captain America _or_ Demi Lovato, while Clint bitches her out for taking his dog on an unauthorized playdate with a guy who's murdered, like… everybody.

"I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable," Sam says, digging through the pile on Kate's legs. "Do you guys want some privacy?"

"Yes," Clint says. "No!" Kate yells, freeing her left hand from the grip of a Bratz doll so she can give Clint the finger. "HAIL HYDRA," says the plush lion next to her face.

That's when America Chavez busts through the floor of FAO Schwarz with Teddy clinging to her ankle. "In the name of the moon," Billy says, winking into reality in the path of a malevolently gleaming deck of Uno cards, "I am gonna to punish the shit out of you."

"Aww, guys," Kate says as Teddy punches an Easy Bake oven in the face. "I missed you."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [ladyofthelog](http://ladyofthelog.tumblr.com) on tumblr.


End file.
